Even if people have heard of the postpartum blues, it may not prepare some for what one mom referred to as the abyss. In her case, it was particularly insidious, because her pregnancy had somehow side-stepped every woogum and irk she had thought she might encounter, leaving her a tad smug. Then she got the baby and held it and felt underwhelmed. Unfortunately, like Christmas, new mom-hood euphoria doesn’t always live up to the hype. The expectation that a mom’s first view of her newborn will automatically stitch her heart to the sleeve of her baby is not justifiable. Add in the physical stresses and it can take months before a bond is actually codified and felt, for mom, at least. But, that isn’t abnormal. In this case, the mom was lucky. Her own mother reminded her that lack of sleep is a reputable form of torture. No one functions well, or feels what they should without it. Armed with that information and the assurance that love would blossom in its own sweet time, this mom went out and found a coterie of other moms going through it all. With their input and story-sharing she was able to relax and feel herself and slowly regain her confidence and stamina and in the end her joy at being a mom add the love her own mom always knew she would have for her new daughter.
Key Takeaways:
- The instant bond that stitches mom’s heart to her baby from the moment they lay eyes on one another is more myth than reality.
- The truth is some moms experience painful guilt, because they are not immediately enamored by their new little bundle of responsibility.
- Love that endures will almost assuredly happen, but as it can with all relationships, it can take time to get to that moment when the falling in love feels totally real.
“In that moment, I broke down and ugly-cried (but very gently so I wouldn’t burst a stitch or lose any of that liquid-gold boob juice). “Give oneself time,” my mom added. “Once one gets past this newborn stage, people will see that they’ll love her more than they’ve ever loved anything before.””
Read more: https://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/1140532/find-new-mom-tribe
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