Militant.
Stringent.
Uncompromising.
These are all words you could use to describe our adherence to our bedtime ritual with our toddler. And you’d better believe it when I say I do not care how bad they make us sound, because it works!
(Yes, yes, as soon as I type “it works!” it’s all going to go to heck, but what’s done is done now!)
There are times when I feel a bit like Captain Von Trapp in The Sound of Music, except instead of asking my child to line up (since there’s just one of her, it wouldn’t take long; no whistle needed!) in an orderly fashion, my gusto lies with bedtime. There’s a comforting order to the whole thing, so not only does my daughter know the parts well and can anticipate what comes next, so can I.
Of course, adhering to the schedule strictly means having to occasionally leave events early, or skip them entirely. There are things we miss out on sometimes. I have no delusions that schedule sacrifices (parties ducked out of early, etc) on our part has resulted in a child who goes to bed well. Children’s sleep habits seem largely random, like tiny forces of nature. But I do believe having a strict bedtime has made our family happier, because all of us are consistently well-rested.
Let me run down the routine with you, so you too can bask in the joy of a strict Von Trapp-style routine. We’re like the post office in this house. Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these parents from the swift completion of their appointed bedtime ritual.
- 7:30PM: Ritual Playing of Blocks, Wooden. Spell out W-A-G-O-N. Child is greatly pleased.
- 7:35PM: Ritual Reminder that Bedtime Is Coming. Child is somewhat less pleased.
- 7:36PM: Ritual One More Minute is requested.
- 7:37PM: Mama looks at the time, announces that the One More Minute is over. It is time for the…
- 7:38PM: Ritual Change into Jammies, Footie.
- 7:39PM: Overenthusiastic Ritual Brushing of Teeths, Not All In Yet.
- 7:40PM: Mama looks at the time, thinks of the dessert and Netflix or book awaiting just at the other end of this bedtime. Maybe a glass of wine, or cocoa. We are almost there.
- 7:45PM: We locate all the pacifiers, fluff up the blankie, line up the stuffed animals in their proper places.
- 7:46PM: Ritual Glass of Water is requested.
- 7:50PM: We say goodnight to the dresser.
- 7:51PM: We say goodnight to the bed.
- 7:53PM: We say goodnight to the fan.
- 7:54PM: We say goodnight to the window.
- 7:55PM: Goodnight nose nuzzles.
- 7:56PM: Goodnight kisses.
- 7:57PM: Ritual memo passed down from parents to child: “It’s time to sleep now. We’re right here. We love you.”
- 7:58PM: COCOA AND DESSERT AND NETFLIX AND QUIET ADULT READING AND WINE TIME AND — “Oh my goodness,” says Mama. “I’m so tired, actually I think I might just go to bed early.”
- 8:00PM: Zzzzzzz
This foolproof plan, when executed correctly, not only gets your child into bed, but also reminds you how great sleep is. You know what I never truly appreciated before having a child? Sleep. So now, this routine sets us all up for success. Sleepy, sleepy success. Sleep for everyone! Early bedtimes are like gifts we can give ourselves each night. It’s looks strict from the outside, but from the inside, it’s a form of consistent self-care.
Sleep is the best, y’all.
Finally, here are some additional resources just in case you read this for actual sleep help beyond “embody the Von Trapps and skip out on events early”. All kidding aside, not every family is the same, and not every sleep solution is the right one for every family. As a librarian, these are the books I would recommend first if you appeared at my reference desk asking for some sleep solutions to try.
Sweet Sleep: Nighttime and Naptime Strategies for the Breastfeeding Family
Sleeping with your Baby: A Parent’s Guide to Cosleeping
Whatever path you ultimately take, may it end in a happy sleep for everyone.
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