The Best Non-Alcoholic Drinks to Cool Yourself Off This Hellscape I Mean Summer

If you’re looking for a nice non-alcoholic treat this summer, behold my go-to list sent straight from heaven to my brain and passed on to your eyeballs reading this.  Because as much as solo parenting frankly is enough to drive me to drink, sometimes it’s not the right time or place. ALAS. Looking back not-so-fondly that time at the botanical garden when I realized I had forgotten the sunblock spray, but I only realized this after making it all the way through the ENTIRE PARK to get to the kiddie splash pad.  Lord, have mercy, I thought as I girded myself to break the news that we had to trek back to the car for the sunblock to the child alllllll ready to splash. The botanical garden would have had my money so fast if they sold beer at the concession stand instead of just popsicles. Or overpriced sunblock spray. Woulda purchased that too!

So for all your splash pad woes, your solo parent days, your summer road trips, being around that judgy relative at the beach house, I present my favorite non-alcoholic drinks.  Because sometimes (alas) it’s not cold frose o’clock. Fauxito Mojito: Sometimes when I’m at work, I find myself craving a cool, refreshing mojito.  Alas, drinking on the job is not smiled upon at the library reference desk so I substitute my dream drink with this fake mojito, aka, Fauxito.  

• Fauxito Mojito
• You will need:
  • Lime syrup OR 1 lime, cut in half and squeezed
  • Mint leaves, muddled
  • Ice
  • Water
• Mix to taste (remember the lime syrup will be more sweet than a straight squeezed lime), sip sip sip!
• Lavender Blueberry Mint Cooler
  • You will need:
    • Lavender syrup
    • Fresh blueberries, a little bit squished; substitute raspberries or blackberries as desired
    • Mint leaves, muddled
    • Ice
    • Water
  • Mix to taste, glug glug glug!

• Lemon-Lime Slushie
  • You will need:
    • Lemon juice
    • Lime syrup (recommend this over squeezed limes for the sake of your hands and precious time)
    • Simple syrup (equal parts water and sugar, boiled until clear and cooled)
    • Water
  • Divide ingredients into equal fourths (or to taste, if that doesn’t quit suit your palate), and freeze as ice cubes.  When the ice cubes are frozen, toss in the blender and crunch up until it reaches your desired slushie consistency. Try tossing in blendable fruit to the blender with the ice cubes for variety (watermelon is a good starter).

There.

Now even Great Aunt Josephine can’t give you the evil eye at the beach when you’re breastfeeding with a drink in-hand.